Fearless Writer ... The Diary: February 2006

Writing has slowed to a trickle in recent days as the demands of my 'real' job have come to bear. By and large I've managed to roll out the words on Truck Me, but as for getting my short stories into any sort of publishable or even submittable shape, that's starting to look like next week's task.

Reading Stephen King's Cell at the moment (review to come in due course). After that, I think I'll take a rather long break from the SK universe. It is possible to have too much of a good thing.

The Fearless (And Very Tired) Writer

I think the phrase rhymes...

...with clucking bell. Another Andromeda update and still 'Level Two' has not moved up from its namesake. On the other hand, at least it's not a rejection, is it?

Managed to get a train seat at last, so Truck Me had a solid 400-500 words added to it this morning. Busy as an ant in a sugar factory at work today, however, so hopefully my eyes are still functioning and I can add a return-journey 500 this evening.

Stand and fail to deliver

Ever since I got my first laptop back in 2001 my primary writing time has been on the train trip to and from work (I usually aim for about 1,000 words). But since moving to Moorebank and having to board the express train from Holsworthy station, seating has become something of an issue. Some days there will be half a dozen to choose from, other times – such as the past two days for example – there have been none. This morning I resorted to writing on the train between Central and Bondi Junction, all of five stops and about 150 words. On that rate of composition, Truck Me will be finished some time around 2010.

The Fearless Writer

Shitbags!

Latest Andromeda update and poor old 'Level Two: Time Trial' is still languishing in round 2 (kind of ironic, when you think about it).

Missed a seat on the train both yesterday afternoon and this morning, so 'Truck Me' has been on an unrequested hiatus. Frustrating when you really WANT to write. Hopefully I can make up for it this afternoon or maybe even tonight.

I've completed another draft on 'Buried Potential' (formerly known as 'Perverting The Course of Justice') but I think it could use a final polish before I send it out into the world again.

Quick draw in the Wild West

Over the past two days, more work-time than advisable has been spent completing ‘Sheriff Knox’s Grand Retirement’ (I still can’t decide if I like that title or not). Appropriately enough it was a quick-fire 2,600 words and I can’t remember ever enjoying writing a story more. When it comes to editing, however, I think I'll end up spending days fine-tuning the dialogue. I suspect my cowboy drawls might have frequently slipped into a dialect more common to states south of the Mason-Dixon line. Still, with only movies to guide me, I probably shouldn’t feel too bad. And I really like my characters.

Truck Me is now around the 20 page mark, doesn’t show any signs of slowing down. Usually they don’t until around 80 pages, when the euphoria of new composition begins to wear off and I curse myself for not having written more in the early stages when motivation was in plentiful supply.

If last week was anything to go by, the next update from Andromeda should be posted tomorrow morning… More then, if it happens.

The Fearless Writer

Same Old Story

Another weekend where my fingers didn't strike a key in anger. Not even to make editing changes on stories. Sometimes it's just hard to muster the selfishness required to do this writing thing seriously. What, is Kellie going to wash the car and clean the pool and bathe the dog and tidy the house on her own? Am I supposed to be a hermit, not have friends over when I could be writing? I can't do it. Perhaps I'm weaker than I thought.

Truck Me flowed pretty well this morning (it probably helped that I had a sold eight and a half hours sleep for the first time in weeks). In the coming days I am going to try and split my time between the novel and a short story for an anthology of horror yarns set in America's wild west. It's a clever crossover concept, I think, and it sparked an idea that has the working title of 'Sheriff Knox's Grand Retirement'. I even have a decent ending picked out. Now to find the time to write it. Won't be tonight, because we have to go grocery shopping. Still, it's nearly ratings season, when hours of rubbish reality TV will be back with a vengeance. Now there's something I'm willing to sacrifice...

The Fearless Writer

---

PS - Urk. The Andromeda website was just updated and I am still in round 2. That either means that a couple of readers gave me a no or a maybe, or my submission somehow fell to the bottom of the pile. Let's hope it's the latter.

The Overlook Hotel

The Andromeda submission status website was updated this morning and I was disappointed to see I am still in round 2, which more than likely means the first reader has either said no or maybe and passed it on to someone else for a another opinion. After the speed with which 'Level Two' moved from round 1 to 2, I was quietly confident. Oh well.

No seating on the train this morning (my fault for getting up late) so Truck Me will just have to wait until the trip home. I have noticed, however, that I tend to suffer from Friday Afternoon Syndrome and prefer to read on the train rather than write. Discipline must be my watchword!

The Fearless Writer

Fumbling in the dark

Work on Truck Me today was a mirror image of the day before. On the train this morning words were hesitant to come out and when they did they were ropey and unsatisfying. Then on the way home my mind fell into that nice comfortable groove and I was soaring through an easy 500 words.

Did a draft of 'Displeasures of the Flesh' this evening. I have to say it is one of my favourite stories, but coming up with an ending has been more like groping around in the dark for a small object than carefully chiselling out a sculpture. Just about everything I come up with either seems like an anti-climax or a lot of philosophical rambling that deserves a large red line through it. I suspect I am trying to rush it, which has been my most obvious failing in everything I have ever written. That said, I think I can see the solution slowly coming into focus. Here's hoping...

The Fearless Writer

On the road again

Back into the swing of things with Truck Me this morning. I found that unconscious flow of language that makes writing such a joy, where the brain and the typing fingers are in perfect unison and yet the writer is oblivious to them both, seeing only the images in his head, hearing only the voices of his characters and the objects they manipulate.

With Valentine's Day and various other commitments I haven't had much time to put my nose to the short story grindstone after work. I want to get them done and submitted quickly so I can get a final revision done on Ghost Kiss. The little voice in my head (who is almost always right, and if I don't do what he says, I usually regret it) is saying that the literary agent is going to want to see the full manuscript – and I don't want to turn in anything that isn't as perfect as I can get it. It could be Eminem's "one chance, one opportunity", and you can bet if I miss it there'll be a lifetime of regrets.

The Fearless Writer

Gotta keep truckin

I'm about 11 pages into Truck Me now and I've hit a bit of a flat spot. Sometimes this can just be a reflection of the physical or emotional weather – you're stressed or tired so writing becomes more difficult – but other times (and I think that's the case here) a dip in focus can often mean you're off topic and need to get back to the core story. If you're not interested in writing it, no one will be interested in reading it.

I'm still taken with the idea and I like my characters, however, so I'm confident I'll come out the other end of this tunnel shortly.

I've decided to give Borderlands a miss and try sending 'Displeasures' to an overseas 'zine, Ideomancer (nice title). I'm also going to revise another story, 'Trouble With The Locals', and see if I can't get it published somewhere. I really like it, but feedback so far has ranged from "too slow to get started" to "errors in feasibility". Then again, who knows – maybe people just have a problem with cannibalism...

The other story I have hope for (but which has also been described as overwritten) is 'Perverting The Course of Justice'. You might call it an outback fantasy, I suppose ... although that sounds kinda gay. I plan to revise it also and trim it if I think such suggestions have merit, but I honestly reckon it's just a case of getting it in front of the right slush reader or editor. Maybe Andromeda if 'Level Two' is shortlisted or rejected.

-- Also just received confirmation of my submission to The Undead 2. Goody!

The Fearless Writer

Lurching toward publication

Last year I was excited to discover a UK anthology devoted to zombie stories. I've been a fan of Dawn of the Dead since I was ten years old, and while I'd never bothered to write a story in the genre, the anthology directed my creative thinking down this sanguinary avenue.

The result was 'Mere Symptoms of Living', quite a unique title I think, and hopefully it sits above a fairly unique story. Of course it follows certain conventions (inevitable in genre writing) but I think its setting and its climax – which is somewhat reminiscent of the brilliant I Am Legend by Richard Matheson – will make it stand out in what is sure to be a slushpile of gory cliches and paper characters.

The slushpile I speak of, however, is not the same one that inspired my story in 2005. Zombie Aid, a publishing initiative designed to raise money for charity, fell on its decomposing face – all too common in the world of small press. Lamenting this and finding myself with some spare time at work, I decided to search the web for any anthologies of a similar theme. I found one American market, The Undead 2, and it is there that 'Mere Symptoms' went last night. Truthfully, I think my story would have had a better chance at Zombie Aid – the Americans just don't seem to cope with the quirkiness that works its way into a lot of Australian and British writing. That said, I suppose 'Mere Syptoms' also includes elements that are reminiscent of two Stephen King tales, 'Survivor Type' and 'The End of the Whole Mess', so maybe it won't alienate them too much.

Next on the list is a story that's only a few months old. 'Displeasures of the Flesh' is a comedic fantasy (a sub-genre that when done well, can be tremendously entertaining, and which I had never explored before). Since I have stories at the other two major Australian SF publishers, I'm going to take a crack at Borderlands again, which has been by far the least receptive to my work. Much like a spurned lover, I'm determined to make them change their minds and I think 'Displeasures' could have what it takes. All I need to do is get the ending right, which is proving more troublesome than I could have imagined.

The Fearless Writer

Grand Old Harlot

A couple of days ago I finally got around to computerising my submission records (since 2001 they've been entered into a cruddy old exercise book) and I discovered that I am still waiting for a response from Aurealis on one of my short stories, 'Fresh as the Bright Blue Sky'. Now, I have no problem with waiting – it's part and parcel of the short fiction market – but I have previously been burned by this mob, who seem to be getting more and more slack with each year that passes. A couple of years ago I submitted a story, then sat down to wait. And wait. Finally I enquired, to be told that the story had been recommended for a second read. So I waited. And waited some more. Then I learned that the editor was about to move on, so I fired off an email to see what the hell had happened to me story. Apparently it had been lost, and all he could say was that I should submit it again. Which I did. A few weeks later, I received a lame critique that made me wonder whether the slushie had read it at all. Twelve months of hope and suspense crushed. Rejection is one thing, being strung along for a year before being dismissed with a casual shrug of the shoulders is quite another. Aurealis might be the Grand Old Dame of SF in Australia, but it's quickly becoming the Lumbering Old Dinosaur as well – especially when juxtaposed with the funky, writer-friendly Andromeda Inflight Spaceways. Which, incidentally, has much better stories anyway. Who's to say 'Fresh' won't also be 'misplaced'?

Managed to get a seat on the train this morning, so I was able to add some more words to Truck Me. It was hard going (sometimes it is in the morning) but I'm still feeling quite positive about it.

Quick response

Couldn't get a seat on the fucking train this morning, so I had to stand up all the way constantly shifting Stephen King's heavy-arse 'Needful Things' from one arm to the other. However, nothing much to do at work so I sat down and capped off 800 words on 'Truck Me'.

Also just discovered that 'Level Two' was moved from the first round to the second at Andromeda on the very day it was assigned a number. That can't be a bad sign.

The Fearless Writer

A Kiss Before Dying

Well, Ghost Kiss is now on its way to the agency (via Express Post for that extra hint of professionalism). I'm feeling quite positive about it, but then I don't think there have been too many occasions where I've sent off a story or novel with an overriding sense of doom. I think a healthy stripe of optimism is a prerequisite for any writer (or at least any writer who wants to keep his or her sanity in tact).

Every time I send off a novel, it sets in motion a chain reaction of success fantasies. I see myself in my cramped little study, writing as I always do, but this time I'm writing on the wave of a healthy advance. The royalty cheques for [insert novel title here] are still flowing in and regular workdays are not much more than an unpleasant memory. Oh, I still write the odd review or article for magazines, just to keep it real, but my time is now my own.

Then there are the international book tours. First-class flights, flash hotels, lots of interviews where people actually want me to talk about my work (I turn up to some of these a tad hungover, courtesy of the free drinks the night before). The hours are long and the schedule gruelling, but I don't mind, because self-actualisation is mine.

Yeah, one day...

The Fearless Writer

--
Postscript – Just received my slush number from Andromeda!

The Waiting Game

I think the most frustrating thing for an unknown writer is waiting. Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine has by far the best slush process I have seen of any short fiction magazine in the world, but even its system can't completely overcome frustation. They assign your story a number and then you can watch it as it moves through the three-round slush process ... but in this case, they are five days behind - so I haven't even been assigned a number yet. Nevertheless, Andromeda is far and away the primary place I would like to see my work appear. Far better than the pretentious Aurealis which seems to come out whenever the editors can be bothered doing it. My story 'Portal of the Rich and Famous' made the third round for Andromeda last year and I have pretty high hopes for 'Time Trial' once it gets before readers.

I'm also thinking that I need to get more stories out there at once, which means devoting more time to the process. I don't think that would go down too well with my girlfriend, but as many have observed, writing is a selfish excercise.

Got back into the swing of things with Truck Me this morning. I've been writing blind so far, but the thematics became clear in my head this morning and I'm more motivated than ever to kick on. Four pages written to this point.

The Fearless Writer

Draining Day

Got up early this morning and got to work. Not long after, I discovered that our drain was blocked and there was a lot of unpleasant smelling water and something that looked suspiciously like bits of toilet paper all over the concrete patio area. $250 later a plumber had moved the blockage and also favoured me with the rather rancid news that there was a tree root grown into the pipe and unless it was cleared (for a price of $1800), further blockages were pretty much a certainty.

On the plus side, I sent off 'Level Two: Time Trial' and managed to get most of my affairs in order for Ghost Kiss. Just need to make a couple of photocopies of stuff, so I don't think I'll send it until Monday now.

You can see why so few people actually make it as writers. There just aren't enough hours in the day. Haven't managed to add a single word to Truck Me today and since I have to attend a 30th birthday tomorrow, I probably won't get any done then either. Fark.

The Fearless Writer

Setting out

Okay, here the status quo:

1. I have a novel called Ghost Kiss which I am going to submit to a local agent. I sent them another novel last year and received fairly positive comments (even thought they rejected it as being 'too difficult to market'). So I'm hoping that this one will be easier for them to categorise and that the addition of a paid publication (with 'The Beauty Without') might convince them to represent me.

2. I have an amusing SF short story called 'Level Two: Time Trial' that I think one of the local anthologies might appreciate. I tried it on an American anthology but I think the humour got lost somewhere over the Pacific Ocean.

Tomorrow (Saturday) I'll get up and waste half a tree of paper printing out the necessary synopsis, sample chapters and whatever else the agent's submission guidelines request, then mail the novel off. The short fiction magazine, thankfully, has embraced the electronic age and I can just email it to them.

Wish me luck!

The Fearless Writer

PS – I've just started writing a new novel with the working title of 'Truck Me'.