From the pit of despair

Yesterday's one-two rejection punch left me reeling. I worked out some of my frustration at the gym, but by five o'clock in the afternoon I was tired and depressed and feeling as low as I had in a very long time. Unlike some recent submissions, I had high hopes for both 'Other Intelligent Life' and 'Level Two' and to have them summarily dismissed like that hurt a lot.

I'm a little more philosophical about it today. Most places are shutting down now until the new year, so I've decided to focus on getting Commune done and dusted (early January, I would think) and finishing my Loaded edit. Once they're completed, I will send out a new volley of short fiction and see what bounces back.

Wow ... that's lame

There's nothing more frustrating than having a submission rejected because the reader clearly had no idea what they were reading (or were just in a mood that day). Here's the highly useful and thoughtful explanation Andromeda gave for 'Other Intelligent Life' failing to make it past round one:

"not at all believeable. By that I mean I simply couldn't suspend disbelief long enough to enjoy the story"

Uh ... it's a comedy. It's a satire. How many comedy/satires are strictly believable? I can't think of a single one.

Boy, I haven't had such an infuriating rejection in many a month. Oh well, maybe BBT will take it.

--ADDENDUM--

Ouch. Just got a form rejection from From the Asylum. Two in one day. That's gotta hurt.

One more hurdle, erm, hurdled

I've done very little on part two of Commune in recent days, mainly because it was just too hard to tackle without some sort of basic plot outline. But this morning I stood on the train and put my brain to the task of hashing one out. I've got perhaps the next 30 pages sorted, although I'm still up in the air about where to take the finale. I'm hoping the act of composition will help me decide. I have a few options, but they all seem to come to either a completely unhappy ending (which you just can't have in a 350-400 page novel) or something a bit flat. I'll worry about it when I get there, I think.

Made most of the suggested changes to 'Blue Diamond Pool' on the weekend - I only agonised over one or two. I've sent some 'feedback to the feedback' on half a dozen points, but I've not yet had a responset. Of all the editor's recommended changes, I think the best was the new ending. My ending was creepy; hers is even creepier (and it only involved chopping off a sentence or two at the end). It's all been a very satisfying and salutary experience.

Expecting an update from Andromeda this morning; will post an addendum should there be any news.

Plentiful supplies of self-doubt

I set about editing some of the remaining Loaded pages this afternoon and I have to say it was a depressing experience. The descriptive passages, in particular, all seem wordy and flat and in need of a complete rewrite. I have the editor at Spinetingler to thank/blame for this, because her comments on 'Blue Diamond Pool' opened my eyes to the shortcomings in my other work.

From here on out I've decided to tackle no more than three pages a day - at that rate, I will have marked up all the pages by the time Allen & Unwin get back to me. Although I have to say, in my current frame of mind, I can't imagine them expressing any interest in the rest of the manuscript. God, I feel like I have bi-polar disorder with all these crazy mood swings.

Part one of Commune will be completed by 5:30pm. Looks like my revised 108-page estimate was on the money.

Mark-ing time

Work on Commune continues apace ... I'm very nearly done on the ever-expanding first half, it's likely to wind up about 108 pages now.

Finally managed to get to the library on the weekend and I'm taking a very pleasurable journey around Australia with one Mark Twain, who visited our shores in 1897 (on one of his last speaking tours). He truly was one of the few great humourists - I think the last time I laughed so much at a book was upon my first reading of They're a Weird Mob - and it's also nice to get some Australian history through an objective American filter and free from liberalist revisionism.

Dear me...

Yet another Andromeda slush update and 'Other Intelligent Life' (along with its ten other 'prison-mates') has not advanced past round 1. I've seen this happen to submissions before and thought, the poor bastards - never suspecting that I would one day be among those poor bastards.

The final section of part one of Commune has stretched out much farther than expected - I'm revising my estimate to about 105 pages. Some cute little scenes suggested themselves and will act as hints to the shift in pace I have planned for part two.

Haven't touched the editorial suggestions for 'Blue Diamond Pool', and since I have another buck's party scheduled this weekend, I think perhaps I should at least start it one night this week.

The past few days - perhaps due to lack of exercise and endorphins - have seen me doubting my writing ability. With Commune in the midst of composition, I feel like I'm studying the tree bark when I'm supposed to be surveying the forest. I've decided to take a step back from self-evaluation as I write and just let the prose flow, allow the story to gush out. There'll be plenty of time to agonise over language in the rewrites.

REAL feedback

This morning I received an email from Sandra Ruttan at Spinetingler and attached was my story 'Blue Diamond Pool' with a wealth of editor's notes (not Sandra's - someone else took the electronic equivalent of a blue pencil to it). I've only had a cursory look at her suggestions, and while they are full-on, most of them seem worthwhile ... the sort of changes a writer just can't see with his or her inherent subjectivity. There's one section she recommended I cut, and I must have spent half an hour agonising over it myself before I sent the story off with this scene intact. It was a darling that I just couldn't quite bring myself to kill, even though I knew it was tantmount to a cliche and little more than exposition dressed up to look like something else.

I technically have until January 5 to finish the rewrite, but I might even try to do it this weekend. This feels almost like the Big Time, real feedback from a proficient editor. Is it right that work should be this much fun?

A few developments

Some of them better than others. Forgotten Worlds rejected 'Lest We Forget' this morning, which I can't say was a huge surprise. I only sent the story there because I had run out of Aussie markets ... so I guess I'll have to retire it along with 'Recipe' (unless there's some Australian title I've overlooked).

On the plus side, From The Asylum has defied my morbid predictions and is up and running again. I expect I'll get a response from them by the end of the week.

Work on Commune has been patchy this week, although I'm still managing to add about 1,000 words a day and should achieve 1,500 today.

Post for the sake of it

Not a lot worth reporting lately - still, still, still in the first round at Andromeda and composition on Commune has slackened as life encroaches on my free time. Got another two or three scenes to write before the first part is done, currently in the early 80s page-wise ... so I guess it'll work out at around 90 pages. Then it'll be time to work out a rough scene list for the second half - which is only half-developed in my mind. I kinda have an ending, but I need some stuff to fill the other 60 pages or so.

'77 ... A good year

'Cause it's the year I was born. It's also not a bad page number, and happens to be the one I'm up to in Commune. I've rediscovered the groove, I'm pleased to say, and am motoring along toward the second section of the book. At a revised estimate, I'm thinking it will be around 180 word pages or about 120,000-130,000 words, although I haven't plotted an entire section yet - so it could run much longer than I expect. A busy time lies ahead in my real life, both professionally and socially, so hopefully I can still maintain this pace.

Issue #10 of Dark Wisdom is due out next month, and if the editor was as good as his word, it should have a review of Hell's Hangmen in it. Of course, with 22 stories in Hell's Hangmen, it's entirely possible 'Cut 'Em Down' won't even rate a mention.

Going nowhere fast

Another day, another Andromeda update, another 24 hours in Round 1.

Commune has been a bit patchy the past few days (I think because I have been wrting a dull but necessary 'bridging' scene) but I knocked of a satisfying 1,400 words this morning and the next 5,000 or so should be lots of fun.

Immovable objects

Another Andromeda update and still 'Other Intelligent Life' remains trapped in the round 1 dungeon. I think this must set a new record. On a similar note, From the Asylum - which went on 'hiatus' for a while - was supposed to be up and running again by November 1. But while this promise is still there for all to read on the homepage (along with its ominous 'This is a good thing not a bad thing' rhetoric), FTA has not made good on it. Maybe I'll eat my words later, but a hiatus is never good news for a site run by volunteers. So it goes without saying that I've not heard anything about 'Level Two' since my previous enquiry.

In the name of submitting 'Mere Symptoms', I only added about 1,100 words to Commune over the weekend. My 'update polish' wound up taking nearly five hours, as I fiddled and fussed over clunky sentences and cut more than 200 words from the story. It's a fairly cerebral tale, a weird mix of gore, claustrophobia, humour and philosophy.

Oh, and I don't think I mentioned this, but I got a postcard from Allen & Unwin confirming that they had received my manuscript. It's sent to all those who submit, of course, but it's still a nice personal touch.

--ADDENDUM--

Received a reply in the negative from The 5th Story Review. I think I'm going to withdraw 'Recipe' from submission circulation altogether - with its strange mix of geres, it doesn't seem to fit anywhere.

Back from the (un)dead (maybe)

For some time I had planned to submit 'Mere Symptoms of Living' to Dead Letters, another 1018 Press title, but I was under the impression it was to be discontinued. I found out yesterday that it mainly closed because of a lack of good submissions! But not to worry, the mag is being retooled into an anthology called Dead Will Dance... although I must say the synopsis of my story fit the previous title a lot better. Oh well, the publisher, Sam Hawken, can only say yea or nay.

A paltry 600 words done on Commune as I give 'Mere Symptoms' a bit of an 'update polish' before sending it on.

The best medicine

I'm not much of a one for laughing at my own misfortune, but even I have to admit this is funny. It occurred to me that BB&T is the first semi-pro paying magazine (as opposed to token, royalties or pro) that has accepted by work - and had it been a story such as 'Trouble With The Locals', I would have got around $30. But no, my first semi-pro sale is for a yarn that runs to a grand total of 667 words, meaning I'm paid the princely sum of $3.30 ... the least ever. The good folks at BB&T have offered to send me some contributor copies instead, although I don't know how many that will be since it costs like $10-$12 to send it to the boondocks (probably more since they're located in Massachusettes or however you spell it).