Gentle comedown
Back to reality in some respects this morning. The weekend's unprecedented high has nearly worn off and the 400 words I added to Truck Me this morning were uniquely sketchy and unfocused. Of course, rough patches are to be expected (this is not the first one!), but today's rain has got me thinking again about something that has been haunting me for the past few days.
Since I was 19 or 20, it seems to me that my life, like the weather, has seasons. Every year, around the time of my birthday (April 5), things appear to take a turn for the worse. Last year I was made redundant and spent the better part of April and May unemployed. Members of my partner's family became ill. A friendship of ten years split apart in a shower of acrimonious sparks, leaving me the meat in the sandwich. Put simply, winter is a misery.
Then, as the weather begins to warm, it's almost as if my luck thaws. Around September my ex-employer came to me cap-in-hand (or rather hand-in-wallet) and asked me to return. Sarah Dobbs got in contact and told me I would soon be an unpublished author no longer. Other things, which don't bear discussing here, also improved. And something similar has happened every year since I became an adult. In summer, it's almost as though my life blooms.
Which brings us to the here and now. I don't want this to be a self-fulfilling prophecy and I plan to knuckle down harder than ever – I have noticed that the old adage "The harder I work, the luckier I get" is a definite truth. But it's hard not to recognise the patterns and be a little intimidated by them. Who knows, perhaps it's just part of human nature to be a little down during the colder months, to go into a kind of emotional hibernation that makes life seem more problematic and vindictive. Whatever the case, I intend to do all I can to make this the most positive winter of my life.
The Fearless Writer
Since I was 19 or 20, it seems to me that my life, like the weather, has seasons. Every year, around the time of my birthday (April 5), things appear to take a turn for the worse. Last year I was made redundant and spent the better part of April and May unemployed. Members of my partner's family became ill. A friendship of ten years split apart in a shower of acrimonious sparks, leaving me the meat in the sandwich. Put simply, winter is a misery.
Then, as the weather begins to warm, it's almost as if my luck thaws. Around September my ex-employer came to me cap-in-hand (or rather hand-in-wallet) and asked me to return. Sarah Dobbs got in contact and told me I would soon be an unpublished author no longer. Other things, which don't bear discussing here, also improved. And something similar has happened every year since I became an adult. In summer, it's almost as though my life blooms.
Which brings us to the here and now. I don't want this to be a self-fulfilling prophecy and I plan to knuckle down harder than ever – I have noticed that the old adage "The harder I work, the luckier I get" is a definite truth. But it's hard not to recognise the patterns and be a little intimidated by them. Who knows, perhaps it's just part of human nature to be a little down during the colder months, to go into a kind of emotional hibernation that makes life seem more problematic and vindictive. Whatever the case, I intend to do all I can to make this the most positive winter of my life.
The Fearless Writer
posted by The Fearless Writer at 1:40 PM
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